Thoughts on the Louisiana Ten Commandments
THE MONDAY POST Monday, June 24, 2024 wherein Gumpy goes a little off the rails
I violated at least two commandments in writing today’s post, the First and the Fourth.
I broke The First Commandment in that while I do not put any God’s before the God of the Bible, I don’t have any god’s at all. The usual response to this from Christians I have known is that I have replaced The One True God with worldly god’s. This is a go to response for people who cannot conceive of a universe without some kind of supreme being, be they Christians (of any stripe), or any of the myriad deist religions. I’m a Buddhist, barely, I do have The Noble Eightfold Path by my front door as a reminder as I walk out the door. It consists of Right View, Right Resolve, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration. Nowhere does it say I have to believe in a god. That is me, I can’t speak for any Buddhist but myself, but it’s working for me in my life, for now.
I broke the Fourth Commandment when I broke the Sabbath, twice. I started writing this on Saturday, the Jewish Sabbath, and as I type this it is Sunday, June 23rd. I’m currently breaking the Christian Sabbath. Wait does that count as breaking three commandments?
To be clear, I wholeheartedly support anyone believing anything they want, as long as they support anyone else to believe what they want. Come knock on my door, offer me pamphlets, holy books, and offer to pray for me. I may find you incredibly annoying, but as long as you accept my polite decline of your proffered goods we can part as friends. Or Reprobate and Zealot, it’s a matter of perspective.
Just a little of my spiritual past. I was brought up in the Methodist Church (I once heard an Evangelical Pastor refer to Methodists as Mythodists). In my teens I went shopping spiritually speaking, and tried to see what I felt fit me. Church was a problem for me, I saw people in Church on Sunday who were awful people the rest of the week. I drifted towards Eastern Beliefs, but nothing ever stuck.
In my twenties I fellowshipped (see, I know the catchphrases) with a Fundamentalist Evangelical Church. It got harder and harder to live this life, and my wife (at the time) loved it. I was eventually excommunicated for a laundry list of crimes against Christianity, the most heinous being refusing to meet with the Church Elders to talk it all out anymore. So I have a piece of paper that says I’m going to Hell. My wife (I got divorced, and after a 17 year engagement, married my best friend) refuses to let me throw it away, in fact she has hidden it. Much like I have to hide the photo I have of her in the Captain’s chair on the Starship Enterprise (The Next Generation, that’s evidently important).
So I have bias. I get it. I don’t need to be told I have a bone to pick. It’s called a Muse of Ire for a reason. My goal is to keep things light on Substack, (The Gumpy Discord is another kettle of fish), but sometimes things in the news set me off, and like some cranky vaudevillian: “Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch…”
The Ten Commandments
As told by Louisiana Republicans to School Children
1 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Except for the Republican Party, Former President Trump, and Supreme Court Justices Thomas and Alito.
2 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
This doesn’t apply to any MAGA Merch, including hats, posters (especially those with the likeness of Former President Trump chumming it up with Christ), and of course The MAGA Bible (written by our Lord and Savior Donald J Trump) available for the low, low price of $59.99, but wait, if you act now, we’ll throw in a genuine (made in some shithole country) MAGA hat.
3 Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
Has anyone heard Former President Trump use the name of Jesus Christ, using 1 John 4:3 as a benchmark, he might be the Antichrist.
4 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
This doesn’t apply to any of Former President Trump’s properties, Golf must go on. Of course if you only employ non-Christian immigrants that’s okay Ephesians 6:5-9 covers servants or slaves obeying masters.
5 Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Honor among thieves is pretty rare, however Former President Trumps family is chock full of sycophants, toadies, fawners, grifters, and flunkies. See: Eric Trump, Donald J Trump Jr, and Ivanka Trump. Ivanka and her hubby have been keeping a low profile of late but just watch, if Daddy Dearest makes it back to the White House (soon to be renamed The Really White House) she’ll be sitting on Jared’s back as he genuflects to the Grifter in Chief.
6 Thou shalt not kill.
Not to worry we have the proud boys, the resurgent klan, and we all know they are some pretty nice folks. Good people on both sides, His Holiness Former President Trump said so. Those two sides are white nationalists, and any other xenophobe, good, good people, the best people. We should remind you that the burning of witches shall commence forthwith. We start with witches and heretics, then Muslims, Buddhists, and anyone else that doesn’t have a cross we can use to burn on someone's lawn. Don’t forget the Catholics, we still have a bone to pick with them, we’ve been burning and torturing each other for centuries. After that we are going to start on Mormons, Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovah’s Witnesses. The list is a work in progress, we look at it this way: we think it’s down to whichever white nationalist sect has the most guns.
7 Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Former President Trump is exempt, of course, because he has made it clear that the army of women who have accused him of assault and rape or met in hotel rooms for sex, are liars. He will place a tiny hand on a Trump Bible and swear to it.
8 Thou shalt not steal.
HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa! It’s not stealing if the rubes do it voluntarily.
9 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Surrogates, use surrogates dummy. See: Steve Bannon, Rudy Giuliani,Lauren Boebert, Kristi Noem, Marjorie Taylor Greene, J.D. Vance, and any one of these Heroes of the Christian Faith:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Donald_Trump_2024_presidential_campaign_primary_endorsements
10 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.
First see violated Commandment Seven. Look up the definition of covet, lust, envy, or crave and there is a picture off to the side:
Here is a list of Louisiana State House and Senate members, who are responsible or violating the First Amendment to the Constitution:
https://house.louisiana.gov/H_Reps/H_Reps_Deleg_Republicans
Whew. That feels better!
I’m glad that’s over. For those of you who slogged all the way through, I will leave you with this moment of zen:
This is a quote I have taken liberties with from Sacred By Dennis Lehane. It sums up the relationship my wife and I have regarding Star Trek:
My Wife: “Didn’t you ever see that old Star Trek where Kirk and Spock ended up on earth in the thirties and were hopelessly out of step?”
Gumpy: “I hate Star Trek.”
My Wife: “But you’re familiar with the concept.”
I nodded, then yawned. Maybe she was right.
My Wife:“How can you not like Star Trek?”
Gumpy: “Easy. I watch it, it annoys me, I turn it off.”
My Wife:“Even Next Generation?”
Gumpy: “What’s that?” I said.
My Wife: “When you were born, I bet your father held you up to your mother and said, ‘Look, hon, you just gave birth to a beautiful crabby old man.’”
Gumpy: “What’s your point?”
Other news of note:
It feels like a small thing to write about, but today I celebrate thirty days of sobriety. As you read this it is thirty days, twenty-nine as I punch away at the keyboard, which feels like hubris. I’m not doing AA, but I do like tangible reminders so I think I’m going to find a Canadian Nickel and worry it until it’s smooth. To read all about the curative powers of Canadian Nickels you should be reading: Don’t Bother Reading
Thanks for reading,
Gumpy
Lastly, somehow, I forgot to thank you for the shout out!! But as Bugs Bunny would say, "I'm an embasil."
Also, thought that you'd enjoy this: https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=gillian+no+laughing+in+heaven#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:0d4e43f9,vid:W3zU0uFxK-Y,st:0
I'm a huge Deep Purple and extended musical family nerd.